Capricorn (dec 22 - jan 19)
Today is your happy-lucky VB day. On this day you shall be impervious to GPFs, Automation Errors are but a faint memory, and your DLL's and OCX's shall operate as you expect them to! Throw caution to the wind and code like a madman; you can do no wrong. Comments? Who needs 'em?

Aquarius (jan 20 - feb 18)
Ever heard of the BSOD? Blue Screen of Death! One's around the corner.. quick!! Save, SAVE!!!

Pisces (feb 19 - mar 20)
Keep that can of Coke away from the CPU. A moment on the lips, a lifetime on the chips.

Aries (mar 21 - apr 19)
You will be presented a deal from the devil... in other words, Micro$oft will offer you a job. (Ok, I'm kidding, settle down, I like MS)

Taurus (apr 20 - may 20)
Today is your unlucky VB day. If you blink too many times in one minute, VB will crash. DirectX? Don't even think about it. Your computer is Automation Error City, and you're the mayor. Your citizens are revolting.. and they're not behaving either. You must make a sacrifice to the mighty MSVBVM50.DLL to be rid of the bad JuJu.

Gemini (may 21 - june 21)
Two words: Make friggin backups.

Cancer (june 22 - july 22)
GO OUTSIDE! EXERCISE! Yeah, YOU, DORK BOY! I'm talking to you!

Leo (july 23 - aug 22)
Keep a copy of MSVBVM50.DLL on you at all times today. In fact, set up a little shrine and worship it.. couldn't hurt! We VBers rely on that DLL for happiness!

Virgo (aug 23 - sept 22)
Use Option Explicit today... trust me.

Libra (sept 23 - oct 23)
Keep arguments short today, use as many methods as you need to do so. Implement something new. An unexpected event will yield frustrations. Your lucky number is 65355.

Scorpio (oct 24 - nov 21)
Don't forget to set all of your surfaces to Nothing.. bad computer-karma!

Sagittarius (nov 22 - dec 21)
Stop treating class modules as though they were objects, you chauvinist pig! They're more than just a pretty interface, they have a brain too! Maybe if you tried calling them once in a while, rather than just using them like some cheap slab of code, you'd see that they have more functions to offer! And another thing: would it kill you to bring home some pretty icons now and then, or plan an evening out, away from the compiler? A complimentary comment here and there couldn't hurt either. Or have you initialized some New hussie on the side? Do you like her properties better than mine? Does she raise your events better than I do? I'll set YOU to Nothing, buster! See how YOU like it! I want a divorce, I've had enough of this project! I'm taking the children and half of the procedures with me! Assert THIS, PIG!